REKREASJON
DIKEMARK

Welcome to a live concert with the band THE SCREAM with scenography created by artists associated with the Bunny's Garage screening room.

Bunny's Garage is an artist collective of interdisciplinary artists. Their projects are characterized by a playful, unpretentious and sarcastic attitude. For REKREASJON at Dikemark, they create a space that both asks for help, rejects it and is at the same time a tribute to untamed madness.

Hello? I don't know if I truly can communicate to you how I feel about the current situation. Since you left me I feel as if my chest has been emptied and hollowed simultaneously. Gradually I know I have encountered a mental and physical collapse within my spirit. I somehow sense that people around me feel alienated by my behavior and my changed charisma. It is hard to be conscious of one's own personality when one does not sense it oneself. I catch myself continuously wandering empty streets in bad weather with a blank mind. When I experience these situations finding myself suddenly in one place without memory, I freeze. Lapses of time have passed without my sensing it and I am not able to organize my thoughts. In these periods I feel a sudden shiver and a sensation of loss moving through my body. I wish I had a way to contact the people I used to love but I don't know if they want me to. I feel I have lost all grounding in myself as I just move through the world without purpose. Sometimes I sit in a chair and hurt without really feeling anything for hours on end crying. Time expands and contracts continuously and I wish we could communicate like we used to. My tears do not flow down my cheeks or anything dramatic like that. They just appear. They dry up. I hurt myself sometimes and I can't even tell if it's on purpose or by accident these wounds appear. Suddenly I simply wake up with sores and bruises all over my body and I shudder as I mend them. I put ointments on my blue marks of pain staining my pale skin on the tiles of my bathroom floor. As I do I feel alive for a moment though the feeling is fleeting and I realize I lost myself for a while. I can spend hours just being in stasis as a sensation swallows me suddenly and then disappears again. My memories are bleeding within my brain and there are no bandages that can mend them. Mostly I am unable to feel my own body as a whole instead opting for the different joints of it. I always ache and when my corpus feels pain my mind feels a sudden relief but my body doesn't. I think too much about my body with my mind and not enough with my mind within my body. Eternal nothingness seems appealing where I once found the idea appalling and this scares me sometimes. I guess that's what happens when you spend most of your time in darkness. I have this night vision camera to film myself while I talk to myself at night. It takes tape and I have none because they don't let me go online to order them, so I simply watch the preview, talking about thoughts into the optics with the screen turned around so I can watch myself while I talk to myself. It's kind of unfulfilling, because it's like letting the thoughts disappear into thin air, the moment just fades, not recording. But so is thinking in itself I guess. Where do all the thoughts go, right? I know mine are heading straight to the compost heap of metaphysics. I haven't had one sublime thought in my life. I seriously think that's true. All pretense. Even to myself. I wish you would call me back or send me a letter. I am tired of talking into your answering machine. I feel like the last time we met wasn't me talking to you, but some false version of me talking to a false version of you, and I wish I could erase that encounter. It's more than a decade ago now, but I still remember your number by heart, so that must mean something. I know I can't erase any actions in reality, but wishing I could is as good as it gets, and time anyway erases everything. It's not like things that once happened continue to happen forever. If that was the case life would be living hell. Well, it is anyway, isn't it? Listen to me talking about life as an object. I seriously feel that no matter how one spends one's time one is essentially doing nothing. Something is nothing and nothing is something. Sometimes I look at the stars from my window at night. They mean nothing to me as I mean nothing to them. Just like me, they don't have a mind and just like me, they don't mind. They transcribe all my outgoing conversations from here and archive them in a database. If they ever let me out of here I will find you and kill you. They tell you they can protect you but they can't and you know it. I'm sorry about that. I shouldn't have said that. I can't help myself. I hear them coming now. I have to go. Love you. Miss you. I'll call you next Sunday if I'm still alive and not strapped down. Remember to brush your teeth. Bye.

Text by Kristian Skylstad.